I've enjoyed this book so far, and hopefully I can take a lot into account from reading it.
Whenever we are to have a difficult conversation we fear the consequences whether we face it or avoid it.
Getting out of your comfort zone will requiere to look close to yourself and change and grow.
Focus only on what to do differently in difficult conv.
We need to understand what is being said and what is not. What they are feeling and thinking.
1. The what happened conversation involves disagreement about what has happened or what should happen.
2. The feeling conversation: asks and answers questions about feelings
3. The identity conversation: we have with ourselves about what this situation means to us.
Remove the assumption I'm right you are wrong.
DC is about dealing with perceptions, interpretations and values.
Not about what is true, but what is important.
Explore how each person is making sense of the world.
We assume we know the intentions of others, when we don't.
Understanding contribution system: how our actions interact to produce this result.
Sense the implications of the conversation for your self image
Source of anxiety= source of strenght.
We need to have a learning conv.
The collision is a result of our stories being different.
Argue: trade conclussions it inhibits change.
People almost never change without first feeling understood.
To move from a disagreement to an understanding, we need to understand the other's person story well enough to se how their conclusions make sense within it.
We as human being perceive the world differently. As babies we take in information by experiencing the world, later on we interpret it with our senses perceive and then give them meaning. By this we draw conclusions.
What we notice has to do with who we are and what we car about.
We should assume that there is important information we don't have access to. That's why we many times interpret, because of our past experiences and the implicit rules of how things should be.
All of these are influences by what you learned throughout your life and observed in your family.
Be curious about what you don't know about yourself.
Whenever we are to have a difficult conversation we fear the consequences whether we face it or avoid it.
Getting out of your comfort zone will requiere to look close to yourself and change and grow.
Focus only on what to do differently in difficult conv.
We need to understand what is being said and what is not. What they are feeling and thinking.
1. The what happened conversation involves disagreement about what has happened or what should happen.
2. The feeling conversation: asks and answers questions about feelings
3. The identity conversation: we have with ourselves about what this situation means to us.
Remove the assumption I'm right you are wrong.
DC is about dealing with perceptions, interpretations and values.
Not about what is true, but what is important.
Explore how each person is making sense of the world.
We assume we know the intentions of others, when we don't.
Understanding contribution system: how our actions interact to produce this result.
Sense the implications of the conversation for your self image
Source of anxiety= source of strenght.
We need to have a learning conv.
The collision is a result of our stories being different.
Argue: trade conclussions it inhibits change.
People almost never change without first feeling understood.
To move from a disagreement to an understanding, we need to understand the other's person story well enough to se how their conclusions make sense within it.
We as human being perceive the world differently. As babies we take in information by experiencing the world, later on we interpret it with our senses perceive and then give them meaning. By this we draw conclusions.
What we notice has to do with who we are and what we car about.
We should assume that there is important information we don't have access to. That's why we many times interpret, because of our past experiences and the implicit rules of how things should be.
All of these are influences by what you learned throughout your life and observed in your family.
Be curious about what you don't know about yourself.