Constantly take a look at yourself and ask: how well do you listen to yourself? This is saying that we should listen more to our inner wants, and believes than rather say what others want us to say. Our inner conflicts are usually unconscious. When someone has a judgment it's easier to listen to it and not react to it if she owns it as her judgement and thinks how you should behave.
The first step to getting real with your projections (taking responsability for them as yours)
Do the If only you would ____, I'd feel _____. The second part is something that you have long wanted to happen or to feel. It's your responsibility to feel connected with people.
Don't think that you have nothing to learn from yourself. The goal for authentic self-expression is not to get the other to change.
The first step to getting real with your projections (taking responsability for them as yours)
- Communicate whatever you are aware of in the moment, even if you suspect that you may be projecting your unresolved inner conflicts onto the other person.
- Express resentment, judgement, or interpretation.
- Feel connected
Do the If only you would ____, I'd feel _____. The second part is something that you have long wanted to happen or to feel. It's your responsibility to feel connected with people.
Don't think that you have nothing to learn from yourself. The goal for authentic self-expression is not to get the other to change.