Why we argue, and why it doesn't help
We think they are the problem
-they're selfish, naive, controlling, irrational
They think we are the problem
We each make sense in our story of what happened
Arguing blocks us from exploring each other's stories
Arguing without understanding is unpersuasive
Why we each see the world differently?
our observations
our interpretations
our conclusions
We have different information, we notice different things
We each know ourselves better than anyone else can
We have different interpretations
We are influenced by past experiences
We apply different implicit rules
Our conclusions reflect Self- Interest
Move from certainty to curiosity
Curiosity: the way into their story
What's your story
Embrace both stories: adopt the and-stance; it allows you to recognize that how you each see things matter, that how you each feel matters.
We think they are the problem
-they're selfish, naive, controlling, irrational
They think we are the problem
We each make sense in our story of what happened
Arguing blocks us from exploring each other's stories
Arguing without understanding is unpersuasive
Why we each see the world differently?
our observations
our interpretations
our conclusions
We have different information, we notice different things
We each know ourselves better than anyone else can
We have different interpretations
We are influenced by past experiences
We apply different implicit rules
Our conclusions reflect Self- Interest
Move from certainty to curiosity
Curiosity: the way into their story
What's your story
Embrace both stories: adopt the and-stance; it allows you to recognize that how you each see things matter, that how you each feel matters.